Living with Grudges

 Do You Want to Die with Grudges?

 Watching a web series Crown on Netflix is an enthralling experience. This is more so when we compare the web series Indian producers are producing. Our web series are about sex, foul language, crime, and violence, Period. The same is true for our movies. This is the reason though we make more movies than Hollywood, in revenue terms, we are way behind.

This post is not about web series and Hollywood vs Bollywood.  This is about a scene in the web series Crown in which Queen Elizabeth and her dying uncle (who was the king prior to her) say Sorry to each other for the grudges they had developed for each other.

A dying person who has understood the meaning of human life would want to get rid of all the grudges to die peacefully.

What are the thoughts that make people say Sorry to others?

  1. No one is responsible for my fate
  2. No one can harm me but my own Karma
  3. People are in pain, they can commit mistakes
  4. Keeping a grudge is a self-defeating state of mind
  5. Large heartedness gives me peace

One thing that comes our way to saying sorry to others is we think; I was right and another person was wrong. That might be true from your perspective but what is the point of keeping grudges and living in pain?

“Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.” Anne Lamott

Failure to forgive can weaken your health. “When people think about their offenders in unforgiving ways, they tend to experience stronger negative emotions and greater [physiological] stress responses,” Witvliet tells said in one of her interviews. “In contrast, when these same people think about their offenders in more forgiving ways, they tend to experience great positive emotion, greater perceived control, and less potent negative emotion and stress in the short term.”

Witvliet is an assistant professor of psychology at Hope College.

Don’t we experience negative emotions after we are angry at someone or some situation? Keeping grudges is keeping anger within us forever. Imagine the kind of damage it can do to your emotional wellbeing and health? All your exercise and diet plan can go for a toss if you continue to live with these negative emotions.

Saying sorry on the death bed is good but saying sorry as soon as possible is better. You are not sure when will you be in the death bed or whether you would be at all. Many people die suddenly. When you are dying many people, you want to say sorry might not be around.

“Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.” Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

Even kings and queens mellow close to their death. Don’t wait to do till the death what you can do now. Say sorry and lighten yourself from the heaviness of negative emotions.

Here is a short film I found after this post went online. Relevant and worth watching.

You may also like to read: How Forgiving Can Uplift Your Spirit & Makes You Serene


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